Uncut.

Friday, April 25, 2008

THE moment all you ladies out there have been waiting for has FINALLY COME!!

for years secrets on how to get men to walk toward you instead of PAST you has been hidden and everyone says "find a way of your own" well i say BULLCRAP!! Here's a few tips on SEDUCTION...

Lesson number ONE: The Looks to KILL

When u notice a very gorgeous looking man within close proximity to where u are, u may find yourself staring helplessly at his fine face, that straight jaw..yummy eye candy features..but mainly, that sexy mouth..ooh it just makes u wanna stroll up to him and kiss that cherry mamasita..but nah-uh gurlfren that won't work...

The key to success is a sultry sidelong glance aimed at the target with a slightly curved smile to show him that you're a sexy single mama and you are INTERESTED...without staring too long of course..the glance should last only 2 seconds and this is how u do it...

PART A: women with long hair
(curls , waves, straight..WHATEVER as long as its longer than shoulder length)

SCENARIO I: Clothes Rack or at any departmental store

Tuck your loose strands behind your ear (the side facing HIM) so that your pretty side profile can be seen from where your man is standing...pretend that you are concentrating on whatever object it is directly in front of you and pick it up to study it...cast a quick glance in the direction of your EYECANDY and make sure he is STILL there!! no point if he walks away you know? If he is looking at you, give him a small smile and quickly look away...regain your calm and compose yourself before making the next move, place the object back down and before u walk on, cast him that sidelong glance and if he's looking, you got your man!...stroll over to where he is and say " Hi, i noticed you from over there and thought i'd come over and introduce myself"
and there you go..problem solved...ask for his name and number!! IT IS CRUCIAL so do NOT forget that!

IF a woman or MAN is close by, i suggest u walk away and try again someplace else

SCENARIO II : At a coffee shop, cafe, restaurant or bar

I recomend that you carry a book with you at all times if you are headed to a coffee shop or cafe! Alright, this is a bit tricky but it has been done before!

1) Sitting there, sipping your cup of coffee or tea, pull out your book to read...make sure you are in a comfortable position with your EYECANDY in sight! use the book as a hiding tool to glance at him all you want BUT, know when to use the sexy face...If he notices you looking at him , place your book down on the table and give him a smile and take a sip of your drink...place it back down and continue reading..IF that man is interested, he should come up to you and introduce himself..( If he is with another man or WOMAN..i suggest u quit it and try again another day)

2) If you are at a restaurant with lady friends or friends or even family and you notice the man..i suggest the "on my way to toilet glance"...excuse yourself from the table and slowly rise up from your chair, flipping your hair back over your shoulder and glancing around the room before modelling your way to the toilet..its good to go in there and check out facial expressions you would need to or want to use when you're coming out! Especially when you are walking back to your table and you want to impress that MAN!! The best way to go about it is as you are striding out of the toilet, this sudden wind will blow upon you and your hair will have this windblown effect, if u notice him cast a look at u, GRAB on to that moment and give him that sultry smile and if you want, wink at him and then join your girls for a laugh, however if it's family..i suggest a nice smile will have to do

once again IF he IS with his family or girlfriend or ...DAMMIT BOYFRIEND? i suggest u try again another day

3) If you are at a bar, i suggest wear something nice and curl or style your hair that shows the nape of your neck and side profile ( don't ask me why...but MEN LOVE NECK! or well most of them like legs and eyes though...so try and do the best you can)...if a man notices you, give him that sexy look at discussed above..actually sweetheart, all you got to do is give every good looking guy a sexy smile as you walk into the bar and take a seat...if one reckons you are sexy enough, he'll buy you more than a drink *wink wink* and there will be a lot of sexy men to go around so don't worry too much...HOWEVER if an ugly guy sends you a drink (or even a good looking one) don't drink it!!..It might be drugged so he can abuse you later..but just nod in his direction and carry your drink away with u to the toilet to drain it down the sink!! come back out later and start all over again...If however the drink was made in front of you then accept it and drink it =)

IF you come out and see a woman clinging on to that man..screw him..there are many more around =)

SCENARIO III : At the Beach

my strongest advice is you make sure your tummy is toned and that your boobs are able to be passed off as mounds and not a plank oh! and your butt is nice and perky...(i'll put in a post on how to tone your flat/fatt butt and how to turn that plank into a mound men would drool over) and may i add its a MUST to SHAVE underarms, legs and bikini area too!!!!

All you have to do is tie up all your hair and leave your bangs/ fringe out...have with you your handy dandy HUGE sunglasses and sunscreen...and a beach towel to lie on of course!! If you are alone, i suggest u push your sunnies up and rest them on your head and cast a glance around for any single men looking at you..then start applying sunscreen on areas you can reach such as your arms first..then stretch out your legs so he can have a full view of your long, slender and toned leg...proceed to apply the lotion on your belly and up to your neck and face in slow strokes...then the last area, your back!...if he has been watching you all this while, it is a guarantee he will come up and help you apply it on your back..if not then, declare him a loser and you should try again next time....but put on a big show of u being unable to reach your back and pout..!! POUTING is good! but that is lesson number 2.

And last but not least if you are with friends, get them to help apply the sunblock on but it's very IMPORTANT that you do this one thing! The chest out, tummy in seduction...

You lean back on your beach towel, propped up on your elbows, tuck in your tummy and stick your chest out...share a few jokes with your girls and have a laugh...*make sure that before all this u have placed your book somewhere within arms length* casting a quick look around you and with a swift movement , roll onto ur belly and pick the book up..if a handsome man u've been eyeing notices...u hit the jackpot!!

I will post METHOD B next time...

GOOD luck !!!

Del

9:54 PM

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

http://youtube.com/watch?v=pw0zRb3bgMQ

WAY TOO CUTE!! *explodes*

Mari

10:22 PM

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Quiz time!!

1) There are 6 rooms in a house. Each room has 6 baskets. Each basket has 6 cats, Each cat has 6 kittens. Find out how many legs are in the house.

2) Bob the Builder goes to work very early but he encounters a problem. He has forgotten the five digit access code to his high-tech workshop. However, he remembers the five clues to get the right five digit access code.

Here are the clues:

a. The fifth number plus the third numbe of the access code equals to fourteen
b. The fourth number is one more than the second number
c. The first number is one less than twice the second number
d. The second number plus the third number equals ten
e. The total of all five numbers is thirty

3) There are 9 marbles that look exactly the same. However 1 of them is of a different weight. Using a simple balance scale and three attempts, find out which marble is different.

Cheers!

Mari

5:05 PM

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Hello people!

Did you know that there's a place in Norway called Hell? So if anyone tells you to go to hell. You can gladly proclaim, "Thanks for the suggestion! I think i'll take a vacation!" Haha.

Jack

5:07 PM

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Friends from Singapore! (Sorry, you guys from elsewhere! This is only applicable to you if you visit Singapore!)

Presenting a food review, by Ms Foodie, Mari!

Starting with our favourite local delicacy, Hainanese Chicken Rice!

My favourite store for this dish is none other than Wee Nam Kee Hainanese Chicken Rice & Restaurant!

The chicken is cooked till tender and it's juicy. It's not dry or flaky. I normally don't drink the soup that comes with chicken rice, but the soup they serve there is quite delicious! And the best thing about their dish, is the sauce! It tastes heavenly! The rice! Totally fragant! A must try!

Oh yes, the mince garlic sauce is really good! The smell is not overpowering, and when mixed with the rice, it's OH-SO-WONDERFUL! I'm not too sure about the chili sauce and the sweet soya sauce, 'cos don't really use them, but knowing their standards, it should be pretty good.

Oops. Pardon me. I'm starting to drool. Hehe.

The price, I would say, although more expensive than other places, is still decent. A plate of chicken rice would cost you about $3~$4 for normal and drumstick.

If you're not in the mood for chicken rice, you can always order other dishes. Some examples are their hotplate toufu, pork ribs, dumpling soup, and etc etc.. Oh yes. Their kai lan cooked in oyster sauce is really good too.

However, their service standards has to improve. The waitresses tend to come across as a bit rude, being a little curt in their replies, but they're forgiven 'cos business there is usually very, very busy.

Oh yes. You have to know a little chinese when you are planning to dine there. Don't think the waitresses can speak much english.

Overall, I give this place, 4 stars out of 5~!

Do go there next time when you have an urge for good chicken rice!

Wee Nam Kee Hainanese Chicken Rice & Restaurant
275, Thomson Road
#01-05 Novena Ville(opp Novena Church)
Singapore
Telephone: (65) 6252-9858
Business Hours: 10am~2am

Mari

2:00 AM

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Yesh. So far only 3 of our wonderful authoresses have published some posts. (Or more like 1 post)

Well, the other 2 are a tad bit too occupied to blog right now.

DelSexy, apart of chasing hot guys, has been really packed with university. She'll be posting something once she's done with her current batch of assignments. Oh. She just show me this bio report she did. EEE! It really puts the ASS in assignment!

ChessSweetie, on the other hand, is happily on vacation in Japan. She's probably having the time of her life now, stalking cute guys and eating yummy food.

Dang. I'll make her post double of everyone's posts!

Mari

9:33 PM

A DEAR DARLING has been pressing this writer to blog something interesting right here, but alas, this lass had no inspirations until she went out with that DEAR GIRL and got talking about SOME THINGS.

But before she starts, here's an opening joke she heard on the radio today, as told by Hossan Leong. Talking about the Top 10 Cities/Countries to go to, to guzzle beer. One of them: FINLAND. Can you imagine a scene where a Finland man introduces himself to you, a Singaporean, and says "I'm Finnish. (Finished)". Now hear our dear Mr Leong's answer: "Oh, I've started," or something along those lines. Come now, let's all laugh, hahahahahahahahahaha! Okay, lame joke, on to the REAL THING:

HOW TO GET THE HP NUMBER FROM A GIRL

1. Never do: CHAT HER UP (unless you'd like a free gift with love! oh, the irony.)

2. Ask her nicely. (Maybe if you're good-looking and have a pleasant character, she'll give in!)

3. Try to make lots of eye contact (stare, stare, stare and hope for telepathy) until (she gives up and asks: "Si mi dai ji?!")

4. Wear a t-shirt that says this boldly: I LOST MY HP NUMBER, MAY I HAVE YOURS? and point to it all night (for the cowardly men out there)

5. Just be a gentleman. Really.

6. Go for a makeover (for the oh-so-not-really blessed!) then enter the real world boldly! Strut your stuff and throw your weight (if you've still got any, get the pun?) around.

7. The Ella from S.H.E method: Pretend your hp doesn't have anymore battery and say you're running late for a meeting. Borrow her hp and call your hp. That way, you get her number on your hp caller id. (99% failproof method!)

8. Pretend to be doing a survey and get her number indirectly.

9. Crash your car into hers, claim she's a lousy driver (like all guy drivers in Singapore do, apparently) and say you want her number to get compensation.

10. Wear a t-shirt, a tall hat, arm bands, billboard that screams "I make a great shopping buddy, I'll carry your bags, your pooch, your handbags, be your VISA, your chauffeur, anything!" and give out namecards that say "but first, I need your number."

Published with a flourish,
Ms Loi (Yes, that Dawnie girl. Any takers? =D She's quite witty!)

9:25 PM

Monday, April 7, 2008

PICK UP LINES TO USE/NOT USE:

1) Hey Baby, your clothes look great on you, but I bet they'll look better on my bedroom floor.

2) Your Father must have been a terrorist 'cos YOU ARE DA BOMB!

3) Your Father must be an astronaut for you are OUT OF THIS WORLD!

4) Your Father must have been a thief because he stole the stars in the sky and placed them in your eyes.

5) Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven.

6) That can't be jelly cos jelly don't wobble like that.

7) I've lost my number, can I have yours?

8) Are you tired? Because you have been running around my head all day. (If you have absolutely no interest in the person, and you are feeling a little mean, you can always say, "Not really, there wasn't much space for me to run in.")

9) Is there an airport nearby? Because my heart has just taken off.

10) If I were to arrange the letters of the alphabet, I would put I and U together. (Again, if you are not interested, you could reply, "If I were to arrange it, I'd put F and U together!")

11) If you were a booger I'd pick you first.

12) That plate of prawns looks delicious, but I bet you'll taste much better.

13) Is there a mirror in your jean's pocket? 'Cos I can see myself in your pants.

14) I'm cosine^2 and you are sin^2. Together, we are one.

15) Is your hand too heavy? Can I hold it for you?

16) You are the Lor in my Lor Mee. Without you, I'll just be eating Mee.

17) You see my friend over there? She wants to know if you think I'm hot.

18) Would you like a raisin? How about a date?

19) When you see a shooting star, make a wish, 'cos that's what I did and I found you!

20) Do you play firemen? We could STOP, DROP, AND ROLL.

Note: Use at your own risk. We authoresses shall not be blamed for anything bad that happens to you. However, you can credit me if something positive occurred.

Mari

By the way, the answer to my previous post (April 6th 2008) is:

MEAT.

4:50 PM

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Ways to annoy people in an elevator:

Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
Apply dripping red paint around the edge of the roof hatch. When someone enters, look upwards and whisper "I think they want in..."
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
Burp, and then say “mmmm...tasty!”
Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.
Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.
Draw a volleyball on the wall of the elevator and insist you have been trapped in there for 3 months. Formally introduce everyone to the volleyball.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?”
Hum the theme to Jeopardy.
Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”
Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger. When they try to look, hide the pad.
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then scream “You’re one of THEM!” and cower to the far corner of the elevator.
When the elevator doors close, bang on them, screaming let me out!
When there’s only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
When the elevator doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay! Don’t panic, they’ll open again.”

For more information, go to http://www.getannoyed.com/

Jack =)

10:25 PM

Quiz:

If a butcher is 190cm tall, wear size 10 shoes, and have a 2cm thick chest hair, what would he weigh?

Any guesses? Anyone who gets it right will get a kiss from Dawnie!

Mari

4:35 PM

New blog, new fun, new adventures!

This blog will be updated by many authors, so watch out for our different posts! The authors would be signing off with our names below, so don't worry about mixing us up. It will be colour coded as well, so yay!

Each post would/should be filled with little snippets of information to make your life more enjoyable! (Somewhat)

Please take certain things in this blog seriously, some of it as a joke, and the rest as BIG GREAT DROPPINGS THAT COMES FROM THE BACK OF A BULL.

NOTE: We are the Boobleggies. Pronounced as Buu-blay-gees! What are you thinking, huh?

Mari

12:28 AM